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How to write an effective essay for part 1 of the Cambridge English: First (FCE) B2 English exam so you can pass the FCE exam and get a B2 level language qualification in English.
In this article, I critique a real essay written by a Cambridge English: First (FCE) B2 level student in preparation for the FCE writing exam. Reading these critiques will be really useful for anyone planning to do the FCE exam. You can understand better what your writing level needs to be and can learn some common mistakes at the same time! This is a typical question in part 1 of the FCE exam. See if you can find the mistakes in the essay and then you can read my comments and corrections after. This website also has some useful information for writing FCE essays.
Question: Can you imagine a world without appliances?
Have a effort and try imagine like the world would be without iron, microwave, fridge, oven, heater…. In the first world humans being have a life very comfortable due to we have many appliances which do to us. But would it happen without them? Which one of them, would you miss if you could not use it? For example for me, I could not live neither the cooker nor the air condition. Why? I will tell you then…
Cooker.
Close your eyes and imagine who you come working, you are very tired and you want to have dinner, you want to eat a taste meat with potatoes and onions but surprise in your kitchen there is not cooker, oh nooo! Now you have to pick wooden up, after lighting a candle and then a time you already can cook… I think would be a nightmare. What do you think?
Could be for you reader who lives in England do not have a/c would not be very dramatic, but for me it is a very useful appliance. If you would live in a region like the south Spain, where temperature from May to October has an average of 35 degree and in July and August the temperature reach most of day the 45 degree. I think your opinion about a/c could change. Don’t you?
Nowadays people have a lot of appliances who do the life easier than in the old days, we have appliances which cook by us, we have television which offer to us funny and a lot of things more. How do you think, it was the life one hundred years ago?
Subscale | Mark | Commentary |
Content | 4 | You have answered all parts of the question. With these types of questions a good approach is to give opinions from one side and then the other or give 3 reasons in favour of your argument. |
Communicative Achievement | 2 | Some parts of the writing are difficult to follow due to language mistakes impeding communication. |
Organisation | 3 | There are clear paragraphs which is important for all writings in the FCE exam. |
Language | 2 | There are a number of errors with the language. Particularly with the use of collocations and relative pronouns. |
This feedback is based on the Cambridge English Assessment Scale:
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